all barred up (snort) and other fun word games

Viper has been unfaithful.  He’s broken my heart.  It’s all over – I’m not making him muesli bars ever again.

I got into the truck the other day, and found a wrapper.  Yes, a wrapper from one of these:

Why do I even bother?  Why do I pour my heart and soul into trying to create something amazing for him to snack on, when as soon as my back is turned, he goes and wraps his lips around this.  Rude.  Just rude.

So this batch of muesli bars is all mine baby.  What’s that Viper?  Oh you want to try one do you?  Well you should of thought about that before you ran off with the first nut bar floozy that caught your wandering eye.

If I’m confusing you, muesli bars = granola bars.  We call granola “toasted muesli.”  Same same.  I call trail mix “scroggin,” though – don’t ask me why, it’s one of those kooky New Zealand things.

On the subject- aren’t language quirks funny?  Here’s some observed examples:

Things you wear when you go swimming:

Aus – Swimmers

NZ – Togs

US – Swim suit

PLEASE watch this, it’s hilarious!

Viper has a particularly fetching pair like the ones in the video.  They are red.  In Australia, we call them “Budgie Smugglers.”

Root Vegetable

Aus – Sweet Potato

NZ – Kumara

US – Sweet Potato

Fruit Spread

Aus – Jam/Preserves

NZ – Jam

US – Jelly/Preserves

Underwear with no back bit

Aus – G Banger

NZ – G string

US – Thong

Rubber shoe

Aus – Thong

NZ – Jandal

US – Flip flop

Any more to contribute?

Plum, Cinnamon and Almond Bars:

Prunes get a hard time.  All the associations with old people and bowel movements.  I don’t care; I love them.  I think they would probably be my favourite dried fruit – so much flavour, sweetness and they give baking a little something something.  They have one of the highest antioxidant contents around, so stop bagging them and make these bars.  These bars are lower in sugar than previous trials, and I think I am getting closer to that elusive texture I am after.

  • 1T + 1t brown rice syrup (or agave/honey)
  • 1/4C + 1T apple puree
  • 1T coconut oil
  • 1T ground flax seeds mixed with 2T water to form an “egg”
  • 1 1/2C oatmeal
  • 1/2C whole oats
  • 1/3C sunflower seeds
  • 1/3C sesame seeds
  • 1 1/2t ground cinnamon
  • 1t salt
  • 10 prunes, finely chopped
  • 1/4C chopped almonds
  1. Dry toast (in batches) sunflower seeds, almonds, sesame seeds and oats.
  2. Mix together with salt, cinnamon, and prunes.  Set aside.
  3. Melt coconut oil and rice syrup together.  Add apple puree and flax egg.
  4. Mix all ingredients together – make sure everything is combined really well.
  5.  Press firmly into a lined baking tray and put in fridge for about 20 minutes or until firm enough to cut into bars.

Does Viper even deserve to try these bars?  What do you think?

 

*Edit to Add*  So I caved and let Viper try these bars… wish I didn’t bother.  He said they tasted “too healthy” (!)  Anyway, they are drier in texture this time – I admit, they do taste “healthier” – whatever that means.  They are not as rich as previous trials, which I really liked – not so heavy.  Viper said they tasted too oaty, which is funny as I used the exact same amount of oats as the time before.  Loser.  I like “healthy” (not ridiculously sweet and full of sugar) tasting things, so I enjoyed these bars.  I picked some apart (took out choking hazards) and gave some to Misty, and he gobbled them up – Misty approves.  Seems like Viper preferred his ‘bit on the side.’

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About Lou

I'm a stay at home Mum, recipe book addict who can't stick to a recipe to save my life.

10 responses to “all barred up (snort) and other fun word games”

  1. Three-Cookies says :

    Interesting – same with cookies and biscuits, chips, fries and crisps, pepper, capsicum and paprika…why can’t we all use the same word and avoid confusion:)

  2. lindsay says :

    LOL! this made me laugh so hard! and my hubs always says jandals. I had no idea what he was saying for the longest time.
    p.s.
    I’d eat you bars over those ANYDAY!

  3. Danielle Lorkin says :

    A couple more – icing sugar/confectionary sugar, chickpeas/garbanzo beans…I;m sure the list continues. Love the blog – one of my few daily must reads, especially love that is Australian. Looking forwad to your fruit bar recipe – ingredients are ready to go!!

    • Lou says :

      Yay, thanks for reading! Yes, fruit bar recipe is very close – it’s been a bit hectic here with the Nasty Pox – but my boy is on the mend, so will get those bars happening (they are super yum!) I just have too many ideas in my head and keep getting distracted – FOCUS, Lou, FOCUS!

  4. Hannah says :

    Runners/sneakers, jumpers/sweaters, beanie/toboggan (that last one REALLY confused me in America once). Love the look of these bars! Though I must admit I can never take it seriously when prunes get called dried plums. I think we should all just embrace the glory that is prunes 😀

  5. Lou says :

    sneakers are for sneaking.
    prunes are prunes – everyone just needs to deal with it – and they are delicious! Viper said the bars tasted “too healthy” geeeeez 🙂

  6. Bridget says :

    Hey, just discovered your blog, I love it!

    I definitely want to try these guys…prunes are yummy!

    When you say oatmeal… do you mean oats ground into flour? Also, by whole oats do you mean groats, or whole rolled oats? Maybe its another of those english language quirks 🙂 Thanks!!!

    • Lou says :

      I love prunes. So delicious.

      Yes, oat word – quirks, very confusing! When I say oatmeal, I mean oats ground done very fine. Whole oats I mean rolled oats (seems like oat descriptions between the US and Australia are a tad blurry!) Glad you’ve found me, so exciting to have new readers 🙂

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